Mister J: All Day will be going on a little hiatus for the rest of July.
There’s just too many things going on and a lot of the things that are attributed to this site are just messing things up with me. So, in the interest of all involved, I’ll be shutting it down for the remainder of the month. Need to refocus on certain things, such as trying to get back into school, planning out the Roses and Revolvers: The Lady Killers art show / Prolifik grand opening in August, and a bunch of other stuff.
Mostly I’ll be using the time to re-evaluate what the heck is going on with me. Something has to die in order for something to live… and in the grand mess of my life, right now, Mister J: All Day has to be it. atypicalLIVING will still be up and running, so that’s not going anywhere… just need to take some time away from the site for myself. Too much self-therapy, not enough real therapy, right?
I’ll be writing, obviously. But just not on here.
Kill one, save a 1000. That’s what I’m hoping to do.
It’s tentative that it’ll return before this month’s Soul Clap, but I’m not even sure of that.
DUDE! I’m all about being an R&B head and this song was the one tht set things off for me. And occasionally, I like to pull this one out to remind me of a weirder, simpler time for me. The piano is killer… then, when the beat drops, it’s all OVER. The only current song that’s moved me in the same way has been Ne-Yo’s closer, but that’s like a whole different vibe, as Ne-Yo was going for that techno steez. This one is pure R&B grown and sexy, no doubt. Carl Thomas, what the heck happened to you, mang?
Anyway, this one is going out to me from 2000. I always wondered what it would be like if you could travel back in time and give yourself advice. I think it would be weird and I’d definitely take more risks, knowing that some things were more secure than I thought they were. I think I’d also pour more of myself into people, knowing that my time would be limited, such as with Jess and with some of the girls I’ve supposedly been linked to.
Yeah, like I needed to spend more time listening to advice from other people.
On second thought, I don’t think I would have even listened to my own advice if I were telling myself certain things that happened to me in the past 8 years. The mental maturity level and difference between 19 and 27 is huge. Like HUGE! So, I don’t think I would have been mature enough to even heed my own advice. Hell, I wasn’t even heeding the advice of those that definitely knew much better than me. And they were 100% correct on the crap that happened to me.
I guess that’s all part of the maturing process, if only because I let myself get caught up in such a variety of crap.
So, I’m spending my night trying to get the old Prototype iMac back up and running. It’s not that big of a deal, but I kinda discovered why it might have been going haywire:
PEOPLE, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do not try to install from a bootleg disc.
It just ends in heartache and brain throbbing for me. I mean… then I saw the label on the disc that popped out… sheez. I need to see now if this fresh Leopard install is gonna work, because God only knows I can’t seem to get the thing to boot properly.
Hopefully, this will work.
And yes, I’m highly aware that the previous paragraph has been mad dorkish. But, yeah, you kinda knew that about me beforehand.
Sheez, I hate being wrong about gut feelings. Sometimes, I should just keep chugging along and not focus on the other stuff. I have enough to deal with nowadays that I don’t need other stuff clouding my already clouded vision. I just wish that there weren’t people attached to the various situations either. I find it a lot easier to say no to things than people. When people are involved, I try to bend over backwards and try to please people enough to warrant them liking me, I guess.
Of course, when you give everyone the same treatment, it’s kinda hard to see who’s special in your life and who’s just there.
And I think that’s one of the many problems with me: I don’t seem to have any clear designation of people I think are special. I like making others feel special, but there’s only a select few that I really consider special.
That’s why I think I burn out on people so often. Love too intense that it tends to frazzle and frustrate me more than I can ever imagine. And I just completely shut myself off from them. No calls, no email, no response. Just a complete detachment of everything that was built. And it sucks because I always see it coming, but forge ahead anyway, because I hold on to the little bit of hope thinking that…
this time, it’s gonna be different.
And then, it all falls apart like it did the last time.
And then, the cycle of emoness repeats again.
And then, I comepletely detach any and every emotion, thought, feeling, dream, and hope I ever had for the person.
It’s a cruel cycle that I can’t seem to shake. I can’t seem to stop it from happening and, for the most part, it’s all my fault. I try to talk myself through it, consulting God, consulting others, but the end result always is: I remove every trace of myself from that person.
Somehow, I think it helps.
Every single time, it never does. And I always think I’m doing it as a favor for the other person. Like, they’re better off without me, anyway. And, for the most part, I think they are. I’m too unstable of a person to hang around with on a regular basis. I honestly don’t know how my current batch of friends can stand me, really. I believe I border on having too many personas. I try to be too many things to too many people and I just get overrun by trying to keep it straight all the time.
I just wish there was one person out there that I could just try and stick with, instead of bailing out when the crap hits the fan.
I’d like it to be her.
I really would.
I just don’t think that after this recent episode that will be the case.
… sigh…
… and I really like her a lot too. Guess it’s back to the drawing board for me.
It’s probably not as bad as I think it is, and I shouldn’t be so hard on myself, but when someone has been this bad with relationships… even the smallest thing is worrysome.
So, paint me worried as my brain destroys something awesome that my heart spent time trying to build.
I hope it’s at least entertaining. And in turn, helps someone else out with their thing. If my pain helps someone else work through their mess and come out better on the other side, then at least I know my crap wasn’t suffered in vain.
BUT! I did look up the synopsis of the movie on iMDB and it sounds intriguing enough to Blockbuster it, so I might just do that. But, I was thinking about it the other day and if there’s one perosn in the world I’d love to be in their head for 15 minutes, it would be Pharrell Williams.
(full disclosure, I’m typing this post out while listening to the two songs that are in the videos… In Search Of… was the illest CD ever. Go find that somewhere.)
Why Pharrell instead of someone like… you know… pseudo-important or somewhat powerful? Why someone that makes beats for a living? Well, the answer is pretty simple: Pharrell is at that level of success that I would like to get to one of these days. It’s honestly not even close, really.
You are always intrigued by people that has elements in their personality that you admire or wish you had yourself. The hustle, the ability to rock your own label or to get the grown and sexy on with the Louis Vuitton sponsorship… the creativity, the vision… it’s things that I admire and things that I wish I possessed myself.
Of course, I’m not gonna be a biter and take all his ideas. Nah, dude, you gotta give me more credit than that. But, it’s that element of his persona that I dig.
I think I’d be jsutified at this point with a (pause), “no homo” tag right about… here.
Anyway, I was thinking about it and wondered what it would be like for someone else to spend 15 minutes inside my head to see what I do.
I think they’d be pretty freaked out. I got some weird thoughts flowing through my head: art show things… Bible verses… comedic moments… commercials… thoughts about Main Homie… err, one too many thoughts about Main Homie really… photo ideas… atypicalLIVING posts… shirt designs… oddball relationship scenarios… my next twitter post…
Things like that. Probably about as entertaining as the movie…
… if I saw it, that is.
I need to get some of these thoughts out of my head. It’s kinda good I got this site to give me an outlet, but yeah, sometimes, this isn’t enough. I think I need to address people individually.
And before you say ANYTHING, I KNOW who I have to address. Thanks to everyone who delightfully pointed it out the past week, including Darcy, of all people. Again, I apologize for being so emo, but yeah… timing is not really the best, right about now. But, yeah… what’s timing anyway?
OK, I’ll stop talking now before Doc Rock kicks me in the pills because I keep talking about doing it and not doing it.
Another Monday, another “date with myself” movie. This week’s selection: Wanted. I’ll be back with a review in a bit… or keep an eye out on the twitter for it.
Twitter is my anti-drug. Unfortunately, that anti-drug isn’t an anti-depressant.
Oh yeah… I found a hat the other day at the GAP while killing time before the meeting with Phil. On sale + extra 25% off = $6 hat woot!
I call it the “Fear and Loathing” hat… Germie calls it the Ducky hat. Honestly, I don’t think it looks like that, but with my hair, I can kinda see her point.
Also, the Ducky thing might be a bit more appropriate, all things considered, you know?
OK, this is one of those posts where you have to watch the videos first before continuing on. Don’t worry, I’ll give you guys a few minutes to get reacquainted with the songs in question.
Alrighty, done watching? No? Ok, I’ll give you a few more minutes.
OK, so…
Why two Craig David videos?
Well, if you guys can think tht far back, the hype surorunding Craig David was pretty overwhelming. The first album was bananas and for those who scooped it up (or downloaded it, whatever), you understand just how much potential lay in this man’s talent.
It was a pretty big time for R&B back in the early part of the decade… R. Kelly wasn’t a known sexual devient… yet. Mary J. was owning everyone with “Not Gon’ Cry” (which is a damn good song and will probably be used in another post for another time.), and Usher was redefining the genre with pure showmanship.
Then, along comes Craig David. Brash, vibrant, and carrying with him that new London 2 step sound. It was the perfect album, at the perfect moment. It was one of those moments where the stars align and things mesh together in such a way that anything at that moment would be epic. I’d still rock “Born To Do It” if I could find it in the mess called my CD crates.
See, I actually buy my music, so I have these things called CDs that take up a bunch of space, so I have them filed away in bins. More accurately, they’re filed away in old milk crates. There’s a gang of them in there, taking up space, so finding one particular CD is quite a challenge, especially in this iTunes fueled generation.
So, why all this talk about Craig David? Because, everyone is always chasing the next big thing. Even when something is pegged as the next big thing, as Mr. David was, there is ALWAYS something coming up. For Mr. David, that was D’Angelo and Neo-Soul… for me, that’s just different situations in life.
Things always come up and I’m constantly searching for the next big thing. The next big idea. The next big… whatever. And all that chasing gets a bit tiring after a while. I’d love to be content with everything, but it’s completely in my nature to NOT be content with anything. Constant evolution and improvement is something I strive for daily. Seriously, I reinvent myself more often than Madonna at this point.
But even Madonna slowed down and became a parent. That doesn’t change… ever.
And, as I was thinking about it last night… I’m turning 27 in the next couple of months and the clock is starting to tick. In my mind, at least. This is the only thing that I don’t necesarily have any control over. The funny thing is I’m actually relieved that I have no control over it. It takes the pressure off of me and I can take solace in the fact that I have no control and it’s up in the hands of God to figure this out.
But it’s not because of a lack of trying on my part.
Confusion is not the only emotion I feel recently, but it’s been the one I’ve been feeling a lot lately.
I’ve had so many opportunities in the past couple of days to tell #1 that she is who she is, but I’ve never gotten around to it. And I’m starting to think I’ll never getting around to it. I’ve always been a victim of horrible timing and right now is no exception.
I complain and whine and act all whiny bitch all the time, but it’s just a product of the frustration of not being able to tell someone how you feel because the timing is wrong and the situation is really not the most ideal. I feel really bad about it because there’s just so much going on that messing up what’s already there would be equivalent to relational suicide. It’s all about balancing what I want to what the other person needs.
And, if you’ve been following recently, I’d much rather default to the other person’s happiness over mine. I really don’t want to say that I need to be selfish about things, but I really should start thinking about myself more often.
It’s just that I don’t think I could live with myself if I managed to screw this one up.
Does it sound perfectly logical that the girl I connect with the most could be the girl I could never have?
So, before I get into anything, I’d like to give a big CHEE-HOO to the Lord and to friends. Without them, we wouldn’t have been able to find Lats yesterday. Thanks for all the concern. Lats is resting comfortably at home and will be back out again soon.
OK, so the question was posted the other day: is it better to love perfectly for a short time -or- to love forever, but not as intense?
And I promised to have an answer up… well, a few things kinda got in the way there…
Wall•E was an absolutely amazing movie. If you’ve heard me speak recently, I’ve pretty much said it’s either the best sci-fi film I’ve seen in a while or the most unusual love story ever. Well, I’m actually leaning more toward the latter than the former. The interaction between a very nervous waste disposal unit and a highly sophisticated knowledge seeker was amazing. And in a way, it kinda mirrored life a bit.
I just wander around life, collecting a bunch of junk, watching films, and getting all misty about just being able to hold hands with someone. Then, out of nowhere, something of beautiful design crash-lands in my life and I’m captivated by them. I get to notice the beauty, the grace, the soul, the artistry of that wonderful being and I try to move in and get close.
Then she tries to blast my head off.
Well, I won’t get any more into it for those that haven’t seen it, but the interplay between Wall•E and EVE was completely not lost on me.
And YES, I did just take a Pixar film and found a love story in it. A beautiful one at that. Just know that you should watch it and try and re-read some of the older posts on the site. I did and even more so it made sense.
Anyway, enough beating around the bush and time to answer the question.
So, when faced with the choice, I would pick perfect love for a limited time. Why?
Well, this requires a bit of a backstory.
As a kid, I was always under the impression that I wouldn’t live for too long; that my time on this earth is short. I know, deep thoughts for a kid, right? I always thought about time being limited and that we should make the most of the moment. Which is kinda the reason why I like to do about 6 things at once, just trying to maximize the time.
I would pick the perfect love for a short time because of that thinking. No matter how short the time would be, at least it was the most it could be. When I love someone, I give everything to them. You could even say that I entrust my heart too much and too easily to others. I would give them everything I have and I’d be left with just a shell of myself. Which is what I want, in reality. I want to give the other person my all… so much to the point that I would rather exhaust myself and the love I have than hold back one bit and leave them wondering whether or not I could give any more.
Also, if one gives everything they have… and it ends, I am perfectly fine with living off memories and reminiscing about how it was. I can take solace in the fact that it was everything it could have been and nothing was held back, even if the relationship was only a year, two, three, or five. And if that just happens to be the last relationship I ever get into, then so be it, I know in my heart that I gave all that I could.
I couldn’t live with myself if I loved someone forever, but knew that they weren’t the perfect one. I’d rather have that taste of perfection for a season than a constant filling of something that could only be right 80% of the time.
Love is more than skin deep, it’s an utter connection between two souls that just makes more sense than any other option out there. And I’d rather have that than a lifetime full of intense “like.”
Who knew that such a powerful emotion could be conveyed in something as simple as just holding hands?
Yeah, today’s inspiration is DANCE. Now, it’s pretty much common knowledge that I can (have, will, continue to) dance at any given moment, to pretty much any noise… or make my own noise, in fact. The meetup at Prolifik just kinda confirmed that. I mean, I’ll just start moving for no apparent reason, really. (and apparently coming up with stupid stuff. Sassy Fetus, anyone?)
Which is kinda the point today. I’m always in a state of constant movement. I can’t really stay still for the life of me. If you ever see me at work, I’m probably the most animate out of all the creatives, moving around all the time, making gestures, getting pretty hyphy with the customers… I’m constantly moving.
Those that have known me since my school days know that I’m not above just dancing in the middle of a crowd for no good reason. Also, those that hvae been with me at an event or a club or what have you… you KNOW I throw down whenever I can. In fact, I look for excuses to throw down on the dance floor. So, I just needed to get some movement going on with me today. I feel better when I have a soundtrack backing me and I’m not above just throwing some moves down in public.
This is good. I’m kinda happy to find some inspiration in dance, especially since the relational stuff is definitely in flux at the moment. I need to quit focusing on that and focus on the art show. Art show is what I need ot be thinking about, not cute girls at the art show. With everything kinda swirling about… i just need to get off the computer and get out of here.
LIVICATED TO GEORGE CARLIN. (Obviously, this is the Seven Words skit, so don’t be playing this at work or anywhere where you’ll get in trouble.)
So, I’m trolling through my MySpace and I see a new post from Phil giving up his current Top 5 list.
Which got me thinking… haven’t done one of these in a while.
So, here we go… top 5 list, no particular order. This list is of the five women who I think are the dopest currently.
One note, however…
The number one and two slots are currently taken up by the main homie and cute artsy girl… and of course, if you know who they are, pics are not necessary. Besides, their pics are all over this site anyway.
Ummm, I’ve said too much.
OK… top 5 list:
Alicia Keys
Jessica Alba
Audrey Hepburn
Jia Huang from Kaba Modern
Rosario Dawson
OK, explanation time:
All five (including the first two who’s pictures aren’t on here) are picked because they are super talented and mad skilled. Also, from everything I’ve read, all are somewhat dorky and into things most ” normal” girls aren’t into.
J. Alba helps run the IBeatYou.com site with Baron Davis and Cash Warren.
Yeah, call me a weirdo, but there’s different things that arouse my senses. I prefer a dope smile over the dope body, the cute hair over the cute butt (although having both is a plus), and moral conviction over… well, anything else really.
This is my top 5 (well, seven, actually) and I stand by this list.
atypicalLIVING Creative Partners, Prolifik Projects, and (optical nerds) present:
WE GO RUMORS! An 80’s night/Celtics celebration…
Backstory: So, my mouth always gets me in trouble…
At jacie and diane’s VISION event at the end of May, I famously stated that if the Celtics win the NBA title… we’re gonna go to Rumors to celebrate. Well, five games and one gigantic blowout later and I’m gonna have to live up to it.
So, the plan was to have it this Saturday, but since Jake is bringing Blue Scholars down this Saturday at Next Door (you can get tickets at genuineHI.com BTW)… the plan got moved.
AND! Since it’s a Holiday weekend… you KNOW this place is gonna be jumping… so, what better time?
SO, the Rumors session will be Saturday, July 5th, starting at 9pm.
There is ONE caveat, however…
everyone MUST dress in ol’ skool garb. Like in the Beastie Boys video above. Grown, sexy and psuedo 80s. I wanna be seeing some ol’ skool Tori Richards joints only halfway buttoned up on the guys and some shoulder pads and teased up hair on the girls.
I personally will be rocking the killer combo of BRUT and BenGay. Hide the Aunties… Mister J is on the Prowl.
I don’t do anything half-assed… I best not be seeing y’all faking it as well.
If you’re down for the Rumors session… hit me up via email (jdomingo at atypicalLIVING dot com) or leave a comment on my myspace or facebook pages.
And honestly, I’m haflway expecting that night to look EXACTLY like the video. So, let’s make this happen, guys!
You know I had to start the Summer off right with that.
Anyway, last night was pretty fun, as it kinda reminded me of Summer’s gone by… just BS’ing with some friends and coming up wiht the most unusual things to talk about. I fully expounded my thoughts on everyone dressing liek bike messengers, why the era of the petite geeky girl is over and the new trend: medium-sized girls.
Props to Stan the Stud, Micah, Shaun, Brandon, Paquito, and Cherlyne for the fun times.
Also, managed to watch Get Smart last night. Didn’t turn out the way I planned (missing one person), but it was funny nonetheless. Lots of subtle jokes, so I got hella into it. But, I don’t think that a lot of people will get it, as you gotta kinda follow along to get most of it.
The funnier part of the movie was the group of girls sitting behind us. Seriously, they laughed at EVERYTHING, so I came to the conclusion that they were getting felt up, because there’s no way anyone laughs that much during a Steve Carell movie.
The accompanying dinner at the Hungry Lion was good, and I wish there was a sample of the “Happy Cake” that I could have taken a flick of. That would have been funny to send to a certain someone.
You know, the new Girl Talk CD is the balls. I completely digging the ADD-fueled mixing. I mean, I’m tracking all the samples, but it’s like this flurry of music that’s just invading the room right now. Like, I need to fully sit down with this one and not use it as background music.
Hmm, back to works I go, so I guess I’m gonna have to continue this later.
